Logan and I are babysitting my nephew today. He is almost one year old, and very cute. We are really enjoying our time with him, and he adores his big cousin Logan.
There is something I have to get off my chest . . . as much as I love my sweet, little nephew, it is sometimes hard for me to be around him. I have always wanted at least two babies, and would have loved more, but so far that has not happened. I have wanted a second baby since Logan was three, but instead I've had surgeries. Seems like every time we think we're going to be medically cleared to try for a baby, something happens with my health and it is delayed. The last delay was my spinal fraction/disc herniation found in Sept. 2009, the same month my sister-n-law got pregnant.
I am very happy for people that are blessed with happy, healthy babies - it is just hard for me at times knowing that may never happen for me again. Logan has been a wonderful, amazing blessing in our lives, and I am beyond thankful for him - I just don't feel like our family is complete, I feel a strong need to me a mommy to another soul.
I still have hope, I still pray everyday. Hoping our family will be blessed once more, and feel complete. I've always wanted to be a mom, I babysat, taught swim lessons for years, life guarded at the local pool, and have always loved kids in general. So, I'll keep hoping, but for today I'll give lots of love to my handsome, little nephew.
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