To dye for

I have loved Jerry Garcia since I heard my first Grateful Dead song when I was fifteen years old. I love live music, good guitar, and laid back people. I also love tie dyes:) I love to wear them, I love make them for me, and I love to make gifts out of them. However, as I got older I found some people see tie dye and think, "damn hippies." I started wearing less tie dye and more "grown up" clothes. Over the past few years the Bohemian look has come back into style, which means its not just for hippies anymore. I have started tie dyeing again, but not the many colored, crazy designs you see at farmer's markets. My colors/designs are bright and fun, but more subtle than traditional tie dyes. I've been making towels, shirts, and beautiful scarves. It gives me a sense of accomplishment when I'm looking at my finished product and know I made this piece of wearable artwork.
Being disabled and in constant pain is hard, frustrating, and monotonous. There are so many days I feel like life is just passing by me. Sometimes it is as simple as I'm in too much pain to function at all outside of Logan's care, so I spend as much time as possible laying down and get nothing done. Most days I have a few good hours during the day, am able to care for Logan, make dinner, and hopefully at the end of the day I feel up to giving my husband the attention he deserves. Several days it is somewhere in between, I don't really accomplish much, but my son and husband get my affection, a hot meal, and quality time with me. This is not the life I had planned, or wanted, but it is the life I have. I wanted to work hard everyday to love and support my family, I wanted a clean house, and lots of babies. At the end of the day I want to feel like I accomplished something, but that is not the case on most days. Its not about money, I feel satisfied with the unconditional love of my family, and the little joys in life - dark chocolate, snuggling up to watch a movie on a rainy day, loving on my pooch, an afternoon on the lake, a kiss from my husband.
The realization that I'm coming to is that I may never have the perfectly clean house, all the babies I want, or a full time job. I am also realizing I can feel good about my skills as a mother, wife, friend, and creative woman. I love photography (all the photos I post I took), sewing, writing, tie dyeing, and all sorts of other artsy/crafty things. Creativity can be a great outlet, but who knows maybe some day you'll see my scarves in a store near you! My life may not have turned out how envisioned it up to this point, but I can't help but dream that the future holds the best part of my story;)