I forgot the #@!%^ hat.

I know no one is perfect. I understand we all have our moments. The moment I remembered that I forgot his hat I felt like my heart sink. "Hat Day" in first grade is a big deal - a VERY big deal, and I forgot his hat. I know, Logan had some responsibility in this, but on this morning our house was not a "normal" house. . .
Logan woke at 7am, and I was already in the bathroom - puking up last nights dinner. When I was done, I told him good morning, laid next to him as he watched AFV, and waited for the next wave of nausea to hit. (Unfortunately this is happening more often again.) Sure enough when I got up to get his clothes and let the dog out, I had to make a pit stop for another round.
This cycle continued through breakfast, lunch packing, and so on. Thankfully Caleb took Logan to school, and went back to bed - exhausted, nauseous, and in pain. Very little helps when I am at this point, and I do everything in my power to get back up and move on with my day.
So, how is a seven year old supposed to remember his hat when his momma is running to bathroom every fifteen minutes to puke? Logan is very smart - too smart, and he knows exactly what is happening, he knows I am sick. . . sick in a way that has effected his whole life. He doesn't know any different, so it is all normal to him. Which is why my heart sank so far when I realized, I forgot his #!@% hat. That's all he needed from me that morning, and I couldn't give it to him. I was scheduled to volunteer for Book Fair with the PTO at Noon, so I took his hat to him when I went to the school.
I get that it is no big deal - just "hat day". When something so little means so much, and I can't even get it done because I was sick that morning. . . its a big deal to me. This happened a week ago, and I just couldn't get it out of my head. My son makes straight A's, leads his grade in all academic subjects, is an amazing artist, is compassionate and kind. I just want to give him the support he deserves and it breaks my heart when I let him down. I guess I will have to let go of being the perfect momma - I am sick, and that is just part of our life right now. Some things are much harder to accept than others, and knowing my illness effects my ability to be a mother is the hardest thing yet.