My little angel

I have written a lot about feeling good about my life in spite of my disabilities and pain. Sometimes I get tired of fighting my pain, and allow myself to stop...stop physical therapy, stop meditating, stop eating healthy, stop icing, stop writing, just stop. These are all things I know will help me, but there are times I just can't make myself do it anymore. I always take care of Logan, that never stops, but mothers have a tendency to put to themselves last. In the past several months I stopped- its hard to admit, but its true.
I was recently given a reminder that life is a gift and it is my responsibility to make the most of it. Ava Jean Bryan, my little angel, gave me so much in her four months of life. Ava showed me fighting is what you do when you want to get better - even when you feel tired and scared. She reminded me in the power of prayer and love. Ava is courageous, tough, and so sassy:) You could see it in her big, beautiful eyes. She also brought her mother and I closer in ways we could have never imagined.
I wrote briefly about her story a few days ago, but I will probably mention her often as she is frequently in my thoughts. Ava's parents are two of our closest friends, we love them like family. When she was in Riley Hospital we visited her and them- especially on surgery days, or in moments of need. In the end she passed peacefully in her parent's arms, with close family/friends in the waiting room. Ava taught us all about keeping life in perspective. . .this baby girl, fighting with all her body could offer, and we all walk around acting like life is a given. I think of her everyday, and I'm sure that will never change. I feel blessed that her parents allowed me to be so close to Ava and them throughout this journey.
So, its time to embrace those lessons and do what it takes to help myself. This means physical therapy routine fives days a week, icing daily, yoga, mediation twice a day, wearing my TENS unit, eating healthy, sleeping enough and doing things to help me clear my head like writing this blog. Wow, that sounds like a lot to add to my mommy/wifely duties...I can do it. With Ava as my angel I can do anything:)